


Morning Memories

by di93



Series: Inquisitorial Enigma [15]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dorian is a sap, Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - The Magister's Birthright, Kaaras wants to make him happy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 05:03:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20002759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/di93/pseuds/di93
Summary: The morning after Dorian and Kaaras spend the night together for the first time (aside from out in the field in separate tents, that is), they cuddle, Kaaras explains how he managed to escape the Qun, and Dorian feels warm for maybe the first time since heading south.





	Morning Memories

Dorian groaned. “Must you get up already? I know your job is very important to the future of Thedas, but I’m actually warm for the first time since arriving in the South,” he complained, and Kaaras chuckled before sliding back into the spot next to the mage. 

“If you’re not afraid of your reputation as the scary mage from Tevinter being ruined when some runner appears and sees you disheveled and cuddling me, then I’ll stay for as long as I can manage.” 

“Good, then whenever that runner comes, have them send breakfast up once they leave.” 

“I could go ask someone to send something up now, if you wanted.” 

“And leave me to suffer in the cold? You had better not,” Dorian said with a heatless glare, and Kaaras smiled as he played with a lock of Dorian’s hair. He felt honored being allowed to see the man like this. Seeing his kohl liner smudged, his hair unkempt, his mustache drooping from its usual position—it was an intimacy that was very different from the night before, and Kaaras savored it equally. 

“Let me know if you change your mind,” Kaaras replied contently. He wasn’t keen on the idea of leaving that spot just yet either. Quiet stretched between them for a while as Kaaras continued fiddling with the man’s hair as Dorian stretched and nestled into Kaaras’s side, trying to absorb as much of his body heat as he could manage. 

“Since there are no more pressing matters for you to attend to, I believe that you should explain something to me,” Dorian said after a while, and Kaaras nodded. 

“What would you like to know?” 

“Last night, you mentioned that you were just trying to ‘make up for lost time’ by helping people. What did you mean by that?” 

“Ah, that’s. It’s complicated. I’m not sure how to explain it,” Kaaras replied as he frowned at the canopy above, trying to think of how to explain it to someone, but after a few moments, he looked over at Dorian who had propped himself up to watch Kaaras. “I mentioned that my life has just been spent trying to survive until now, right? Well, when I was bound, my life was just doing what I was told, and praying to every god I’d ever heard of for a way to escape. And then once I did escape, my life was just trying to avoid being found. 

“Until all of this, I was too focused on trying to survive to bother with living, but I didn’t want that for anyone else. So like when I helped those Dalish people escape, it was because I couldn’t stand seeing the other people being bound like I was. But at the same time that I helped them, sometimes I thought that my chest would explode with jealousy. They had lives that they could return to, or they could start new ones. They could live, but I couldn’t. 

“Still, helping where I can has been good. It makes me feel like I can make a difference. Like even if I can’t live, my life still matters. That I’ve done more with my life than be a mindless weapon for the Qun. That there’s a reason to keep surviving,” Kaaras finished, giving a little shrug, but then he felt Dorian moving. He slid to rest on top of him, so that they were lying chest to chest, and Dorian crushed his lips against Kaaras’s while his hands framed the man’s face. When he pulled back, Dorian’s eyes were full of emotion as he tried to say something, but Kaaras smiled and tilted his head to kiss him again. 

“Living is a wonderful thing,” Kaaras said, resting his forehead against Dorian’s. They stayed like that for a long while, Dorian marveling in the strength of the man beneath him, a strength that had absolutely nothing to do with his muscles, as Kaaras reveled in the feeling of being alive and not alone. 

“Kaaras?” 

“Hm?” 

“How did you escape?” 

“From Par Vollen?” he clarified, and Dorian nodded once. Kaaras ran a knuckle along Dorian’s jawline as he considered how to answer, and smiled when Dorian leaned into the touch. 

“As saarebas, it’s impossible to escape on your own. You either have to be captured by an enemy, which is unlikely, or someone has to smuggle you out—which is even less likely since you can’t speak to convince anyone to help you. When I came into my magic, I lived in northern Qunandar. But I don’t know where I was sent after that. I just know that I was on a boat for a time. It felt like a long time, but it’s impossible to know. I just know that my Karataam, the group of saarebas that I was with, was meant to hunt and recapture Tal-Vashoth. 

“During one fight with a band of Tal-Vashoth bandits, I was separated from Avaarad, the one who controls us. The bandits weren’t going to fight off my Karataam, so one of them asked me if I would fight with them if they freed me after. I nodded, they knocked away the control rod for my collar, and I shot fire at Avaarad in response. Because I was saarebas, Avaarad focused on attacking me,” Kaaras replied as he continued to stroke Dorian’s jaw, smiling to himself at the faint feeling of stubble against the pads of his fingers. Dorian hadn’t yet shaved that morning, and Kaaras felt like it was another intimate privilege he was being allowed. 

“So they freed you after killing Avaarad and the Karataam, then?” Dorian asked, but Kaaras frowned and shook his head. 

“They ran once the Karataam focused on me. And since I was a saarebas that had betrayed my Avaarad, I was going to be killed even if I backed down, so I kept fighting anyway. I tripped over the corpse of one of the bandits and picked up his spear. I couldn’t really aim, but stabbed anyway and felt it connect. The attacks from the Karataam stopped, and I felt around for another weapon, something. I found a sword and picked it up, but then I felt heat and could smell flesh burning. 

“I’d killed Avaarad with the spear. When the other saarebas realized Avaarad was dead, they immolated themselves. If they returned to the Qun, they would’ve been considered corrupted, because one in their unit had left and they no longer had an Avaarad, and would have been killed anyway. They preferred death to leaving the Qun. I used the sword to cut the stitches from my eyes, and the first thing I saw were their charred bodies,” Kaaras replied, feeling his stomach churn at the memory as he stared unseeingly at his thumb stroking along Dorian’s jaw. 

“You feel guilty?” Dorian realized, eyes wide. 

“They died because of my selfishness. If I’d done my job, accepted my role, they would still be alive, but I couldn’t.” 

“Maker, that wasn’t living!” Dorian frowned, catching Kaaras’s face between his hands, forcing the man to meet his eyes. “Before, when you called me brave, you said that it’s not easy to abandon tradition and walk your own path. That’s what you did. You chose to live. They could have done the same, but they weren’t as brave as you. The Qun is the only thing to blame for their deaths, not you,” he said with fury burning behind his eyes, and Kaaras couldn’t help smiling as affection swelled in his chest. 

Kaaras pressed his forehead to Dorian’s and wrapped his arms around the man’s back, hugging him closer. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

“You know, you don’t always have to ask first. I am lying naked on top of you, after all. I’d be rather disappointed if you didn’t want to kiss me,” Dorian replied with a forced frown and a roll of his eyes, and Kaaras huffed a laugh but shook his head. 

“I’d rather not take it for granted.” 

“Oh? So you’ll ask permission before kissing me every time, but not for touching me or playing with my hair?” Dorian asked, with a small smirk, but Kaaras dropped his arms from Dorian’s back and let them fall to the mattress. 

“Can I hug you?” 

“Oh, for the love of—yes. You may hug me and kiss me and do anything else that suits your whim, now hurry up and wrap your arms back around me before I freeze,” Dorian scolded, and Kaaras gave him a bright smile as his arms wrapped back around Dorian, covering as much of his back as he could to keep the man warm before kissing him. 

“I can go get more blankets, if you’re cold,” Kaaras suggested once they broke apart. 

“We discussed this already, did we not? You are to stay right where you are and serve as my personal heater and when someone finally comes to find out why the Inquisitor hasn’t left his chambers despite the sun being up, then you are to send them to find us breakfast. Now, I believe that you should be kissing me or messing with my hair or some such gesture since I’ve given you permission.” 

“I think I can manage that,” he replied before trailing kisses along Dorian’s hairline, smiling to himself when Dorian hummed in contentment. 

They lounged for a while longer until a knock sounded at the door. 

“Inquisitor?” called Josephine’s voice. 

“Finally,” Dorian muttered before Kaaras started to get up, but Dorian sat up and pressed down on his chest. “No, you stay there and keep the bed warm,” he ordered. Then Dorian slid out of the bed, taking the coverlet with him, bundling up in it to block out the cold. Kaaras was just left with the sheets, but he couldn’t help a laugh as Dorian walked towards the stairs, looking regal even as he appeared to be a walking blanket with a head. 

“Good morning, dear Josephine,” Kaaras could hear Dorian say from the bottom of the stairs. 

“O-oh! Dorian! I wasn’t—I’m sorry to have, ah, interrupted you,” 

“Not at all. We’ve been waiting for someone to show up all morning, now did you need something urgent? Or could you have breakfast and the day’s reports sent up? I’m afraid the Inquisitor is quite fatigued and would prefer to work from the comfort of his rooms.” 

“Of course! I’ll have someone send something up right away,” she replied, and Kaaras could almost hear Dorian’s elegant, but blanketed, bow before the door shut and Dorian reappeared at the top of the stairs and made his way back onto the bed. 

“Well, I’m afraid that if you were hoping to keep quiet the rumors of our involvement, that will no longer be possible. All of Skyhold will know by the end of the day,” Dorian remarked as he sat back down at the edge of the bed. 

“Are you worried about that?” Kaaras asked, recalling what Dorian had said the day before when he returned the amulet. 

“You’re dallying with the evil magister from Tevinter who is most assuredly a Venatori spy. That’s what they are going to say, and I don’t imagine it will help gain influence for your position.” 

“The people saying that likely wouldn’t want to help an oxman who’s a mage anyway, you know,” Kaaras replied before reaching an arm out towards Dorian. “Now will you come here? You stole the blankets.” Dorian gave a small laugh, and crawled back to Kaaras’s side. Kaaras wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close. “Better?” 

“It’ll have to do.” 

“I’m sure that Josephine could be discreet, if you wanted.” 

“No, that’s not—” Dorian sighed and propped himself up to look at Kaaras. “I don’t want that. I just… don’t have any experience with this sort of thing. It’s simply not possible back home.” 

“What do you want, then? To stop the rumors? To start more of them?” 

“Well there’s an idea.” 

“We could. I can carry you out into the hall, wrapped up in the blanket and we could cuddle on my throne,” Kaaras suggested, and Dorian choked on a laugh. 

“I do believe that all of the nobles would shit themselves.” 

“Would you like to?” 

“Perhaps we should save that for another day. Breakfast is already on it’s way, I’m sure.” 

“So what do you want?” Kaaras asked, and Dorian sighed and pressed the side of his face to Kaaras’s chest, looking out the balcony as he considered. 

“I want… I want to be an equal to you. I don’t want to be some dirty secret locked away. I want to help you fight Corypheus. I don’t want to be a hindrance. I want to be someone you trust and confide in. I want to be able to do the same. I want to enjoy this with you until, well, until one or both of us are killed, most likely, given the state of things.” 

“Alright.” 

“‘Alright’? Just like that?” Dorian asked, shocked as he looked up at Kaaras. 

“Well, I never had any intention of hiding this, and I thought that—wait, I didn’t make you think that I did, did I? I guess I did suggest that we meet down in that old library, but that was just because I thought you would be interested in it and that not everyone should hear me read the reports—” Kaaras started with a frown, but Dorian cut him off with a kiss. 

“No, you didn’t make me think that. That’s just… what I’ve come to expect,” Dorian said, and then Kaaras nodded, feeling slightly relieved, though all the more angry with what Tevinter had done to the man on his chest. 

“I’m not planning to keep this a secret. I don’t exactly have plans to tell everyone I come across, either, but I’m not hiding it,” Kaaras started again, running a hand through Dorian’s hair. “I have no idea how you could possibly think that you’re a hindrance, since I wouldn’t have made it back from Redcliffe if not for you, and you’ve saved me and Varric and Blackwall countless times. And if it weren’t for you helping me read through reports every night, then I wouldn’t be able to get nearly as much done as I have, and I am so grateful for your help. I trust you absolutely. Confiding is… more difficult, but I’ll do my best. And I’ll also do my best to make sure neither of us are killed.” 

“What about you?” 

“What about me?” Kaaras asked, tilting his head slightly. 

“What is it that you want?” 

“I—” Kaaras cut himself off. He was going to say that he already has so much more than he ever dreamed of wanting, which was true, but that wasn’t what Dorian had asked. He stared up at the canopy. “I want to be able to read Varric’s books myself, good and bad. I want to be able to write a letter with passable penmanship. I want to tell you more bad jokes. I want to be able to dance well enough by the time I attend the ball at the Winter Palace to be able to dance with you and not embarrass myself or break your feet. I want to keep helping people. I want to defeat Corypheus. I want to save Empress Celene. I want to punch your father. I want to keep living. I want to kiss you. All the time. I want to cast better barriers. And learn healing magic. I want to not have to worry about the Ben-Haasrath coming for me. 

“I want a lot of things,” Kaaras concluded, and suddenly found Dorian’s lips pressed to his own, kissing him fiercely. Dorian pulled back and was about to speak, but then another knock came from the door. Kaaras moved to get up so that he could help carry up what was likely their breakfast, but Dorian pushed him back down. 

“Oh, no you don’t,” he said before wandering off with the covers again. “Come in!” Dorian called down the stairs, and the door swung open, revealing several servants who marched up the stairs, paused with wide eyes upon seeing Dorian—which only grew wider when they spotted the Inquisitor lounging in bed, half-covered only by a sheet—before practically sprinting to set down the trays of food, to pick up the dishes from the night before, and to set the reports down on the Inquisitors desk. 

“Is there anything else we could do for you, Your Worship?” one of the servants paused to ask, even though she looked poised to race out of the room as soon as possible. 

“If you could bring a meal up around dinner time as well, I would appreciate it,” he replied, and she nodded before they all left the room as quickly as they could manage. Then Kaaras watched Dorian wander over to inspect the food that was brought up. “You know, you could have just stayed here instead of getting up.” 

“I didn’t want to risk giving them a heart attack,” Dorian said, waiving it off before turning back to face Kaaras, giving him a slow once-over with a growing smirk. “Besides, I rather like the view from here.” Kaaras laughed and made to stand to grab a plate, but Dorian spoke up again. “Just stay there, will you? I keep telling you not to move. If you get up then the bed will freeze again in an instant and I’ll never be warm again,” he scolded. Kaaras laughed and rolled his eyes, but got comfortable on the bed again as Dorian somehow managed to grab both plates and carry them to the bed while remaining almost entirely wrapped in the blanket. 

Kaaras and Dorian spent the rest of the day in much the same fashion, eating, chatting, kissing and eventually reading through reports, and Dorian found it all nauseatingly domestic. But then Kaaras would tug at his waist and kiss his shoulder and smile like he was given the most wonderful present in the world, and Dorian thought that perhaps he could be perfectly content with spending a few more days in such a nauseatingly domestic fashion.


End file.
